


"You're on Raeken."

by orphan_account



Series: Thiam Shorts :) [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bets & Wagers, Boys In Love, Co-workers, Good Theo Raeken, Homophobia, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lacrosse, M/M, Protective Theo Raeken, Roommates, Secretaries, Stressed Liam Dunbar, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Theo and Liam decide to finally settle their debate regarding who has the harder job, and Theo stands up to some homophobic pieces of shit.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Series: Thiam Shorts :) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767952
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	"You're on Raeken."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if this sucks, I wrote it at three am instead of sleeping so have no idea if it makes any sense whatsoever. I wanted to write another AU seeing as people like the last one, this isn't as good in my opinion, but I hope people still enjoy :)
> 
> I am also in no way saying that their opinions on jobs are my own, plus their conclusion may not be mine, it's all them :) 
> 
> Also, say I was to branch out and write like one fic from another fandom, would that be annoying, would people still read it? Idk, seeing as all my work is random shit that I question. And I'm always like 3 years late. :/

“You’ve got to be kidding me Theo.” Liam rolled his eyes at the young man who had sprawled himself over their couch in an rather peculiarly unflattering position, eyes glued to the television.

“All you do is run around with a stick in your hand, and throw balls into a net.” Theo shrugged, changing the channel in boredom as Liam scoffed.

“There is so much more to lacrosse than that.” Theo raised his eyebrows, listening intently to humour his new roommate. “It’s a cut throat game of logic, strength, and teamwork.”

“Mhm. Sure.” Theo nodded in mock earnest, not even looking Liam in the eye, he’d taken to scrolling through Instagram instead. 

“Ok, well at least I actually have a proper job.” Liam recovered hastily, looked the man up and down in triumph, and Theo sighed, laughing quietly. 

“Proper? You run around knocking people over for a living.”

“Professionally.” Liam added softly, trying in vain to gain back his pride. Theo just rolled his eyes. 

“I actually contribute to society.” 

“You’re a party planner's secretary Theodore. I wouldn’t count that as ‘contributing to society’.” Liam sneered. 

“Ok, so I may not be going down the career path I want at the moment.” Theo rambled. 

“No shit. You, making little kids happy, who would’ve thought it?” Liam muttered. 

“I know. It makes me sick.” Theo shuddered and Liam punched him playfully on the shoulder. He tried not to blush at Theo’s grinning expression, his cheeks dimpled and the corners of his mouth crinkled happily. “But it pays well.”

“And requires no skill. Perfect for you.” Liam waved his hand over the man, still stretched across the sofa. 

“But that’s where you’re wrong Liam dearest.” Theo sat up eagerly, and this time Liam failed in suppressing the blush that spread across his cheeks. 

“What did we talk about calling me that?” Theo waved at him dismissively and continued. 

“You wouldn’t last a day, us party planning secretaries are the real deal. We’re hardcore.” 

“You do realise how incredibly dumb you sound? Oh wait, never mind, you always sound this dumb, sorry, continue.” Theo stuck his middle finger up at him.

“Seriously, we have a tight schedule, tons of things to do, and worst of all, little kids to deal with. The little shits make me want to gag. Ugh.” Theo shuddered yet again. 

“I’m starting to worry you have some small child phobia.” 

“What I mean is,” Theo glared at him, “you, Mr. ‘I can aim balls and look pretty doing it’ Dunbar, could never meet the skill requirement my profession asks of their employees.” Liam scoffed at the loose use of profession and lack of confidence in him. 

“Theo. No. You sit at your desk all day watching naked girls ‘dance’ on your computer and hastily close your browser whenever someone asks you to do something. Usually just to make coffee, that seems to be where the few skills you posses are put to use.” Liam snapped, temper rising. 

“What makes you think it’s ladies Li?” Theo winked. 

“Sorry, momentarily forgot you’re as gay as everyone else in this apartment. ” Liam laughed. “But honest to god, I’ve never seen you do anything resembling working.” 

“If you’re calling playing lacrosse for a living a job, then I’m calling what I do a job.” Theo crossed his arms. 

“The two are not even remotely close.” Liam sulked.  
“Plus, seeing as lacrosse is a sport reliant on friendship and team work, where’re your team mates and how come you never hang out with them Liam?” Theo cocked his head to one side, “I’m sure there are plenty of eligible young men to be introduced to me.” Liam was concerned at the slight clench he felt in his stomach in regards to Theo’s words, the same feeling he got when Theo brought home one of his multiple conquests, almost every other night. 

“Like you had the game to get with any of them.” Liam laughed it off, he wasn’t jealous. Theo was free to date whomever he pleased. It was none of Liam’s business. And it definitely, definitely, one hundred percent didn’t bother him. Totally. 

“And I don’t know, they always talk together in the changing rooms after practice, but they shut up when they see me looking, and turn away. It’s weird. But they’re all shallow morons, so I don’t really care.” Liam shrugged nonchalantly as Theo fell of the sofa, wheezing hysterically, clutching his stomach. 

“They all hate you,” Theo managed to squeeze out between gasps for air. “Oh god this is brilliant.”

“They don’t hate me per se, they just never speak to me.” 

“Bet you I could make them all practically worship me in the duration of one session.” Theo smirked.”

“You’re on Raeken.” Liam looked impressed. 

“Although in all truth, most guys worship me after one session pretty much all the time so it shouldn’t be too hard.” Theo sighed long and hard, stretching cockily. 

“You nearly went one minute without saying something inappropriate. New record.” Liam sighed, resetting his ever going timer, which him, Mason, Corey and Nolan would have to restart every time Theo made some innuendo or dirty joke. Which, given that this was Theo Raeken they were talking about, was far too often for their liking. “Well, I bet that in the process of making my team mates ‘worship you’, you come to the already painfully obvious conclusion that my job is harder than yours.”

“If I’m spending a day playing lacrosse, then you are spending a day sitting at my desk.” Theo bargained, staring Liam hard in the eyes. 

“Shouldn’t be too difficult. I could do your job with my eyes closed. You often do.” Liam rolled his eyes at the beaming secretary. 

“I’ll be waiting for the phone call when you have the infamous, inevitable Liam Dunbar mental breakdown.” Theo sneered, “Wait, never mind, I’ll be busy proving how easy and ridiculous your job is.” 

“It takes skill.” Liam huffed. 

“Then why they let you play amazes me.”

“Ok. So, I’ll go wipe little kids’ mouths all day while you go and get your ass kicked at lacrosse, and that’s how we settle once and for all who has the harder job?” Liam offered incredulously. "We're so petty, jesus." 

“Wow, Liam actually gets one thing right. I am shook.” Theo’s eyes widened in mock horror. 

“You’ll be regretting this when I come to roast your ass in hospital later.”

“Uno reverse card.”

“What-“ Liam frowned, “That’s not a valid come back douche.”

“So how long do you reckon they take to realise they’re hopelessly in love with each other?” Mason whispered to Nolan and Corey, the three roommates had been stood watching this debacle unfurl for the entire duration, and neither Liam nor Theo had noticed the three men staring. 

“Mason. They’re both complete morons. Not any time soon.” 

“You can say that again.”

“They’re both complete morons?” 

“Nolan. I did not mean literally.”

“Oh.”

~~

“I have a twelve o’ clock with Ryan Bucharest?” A brunette woman, child in tow, stalked over to the desk where the flustered Liam was sitting, sweating uncomfortably in the suit jacket Theo had actually forced him into, letting his fingers linger on his collarbone gently as he buttoned him up. 

“Sorry, you are?” Liam stuttered. He’d been there what, two hours now, god it had it felt like years, and he’d already had two Bridezillas complain about their floral arrangements, three women miss their appointments, and one small boy puke all over the waiting room floor. He was starting to see Theo’s point. Kids suck. Theo’s job sucked. He truly hadn’t realised the collectedness Theo must possess to tolerate doing this five days a week. 

“I went through this on the phone. Nina Matthews. I am supposed to be meeting Ryan now. I cannot afford to be late young sir.” She smiled gravely, putting an unpleasant emphasis on the evidently insincere sir. 

“Are you sure you’re meeting Ryan, because I just sent through a bachelor party through to him.” Liam moaned in frustration, and it took all his self restraint to refrain himself from picking up Theo’s stapler and whacking his head against it. 

“Imbecile.” The woman muttered, not very subtly, but then again Liam presumed he was supposed to hear it. “I’ll be back in an hour and I am expecting my meeting to take place. Punctually. Come on Wylan, we’re leaving.” She grabbed the poor boys hand with her talon like nails and dragged him out the door. 

“Shit.” Liam moaned, flopping face first onto the desk. “I could’ve sworn Ryan had a different meeting in an hour. Or is that Kaz? Or Matt? Does anyone know where I can find literally any information?”

“Mr. Dunbar?” Theo’s co-worker approached anxiously, Liam had started rifling through Theo’s desk like crazy, pulling his hair out. “Theo’s shift is over now. You’re free to go.” 

“Really?” Liam perked up in relief as the concerned man nodded shyly. “Thank fuck. Your job sucks.” He stood up and sprinted to the door. “Don’t tell Theo about this!” he yelled as the glass doors of the office building swung shut behind him and the entirety of the company sighed in relief. 

“Theo’s one calm bastard.” Liam muttered to no one in particular as he walked briskly down the road, he was meeting Theo in the changing rooms. There was no way he was going to tell Theo had badly he’d failed at the secretary thing. His head was already big enough, and didn’t need the inflation Liam’s praise and respect would gain it. 

He paused outside the door of the changing room once he’d got there, there was his roommate Theo, and the people he spent most of his time with, and spent most of their time ignoring him, chatting as if they were old friends. Damn. Theo hadn’t been kidding when he said he had good people skills. 

“Dude, that shot though, especially with Inej and Fahey in defense, how’d you pull it off?” Liam recognised his team mate Colm pat a smirking Theo on the back, who was very, very shirtless much to Liam’s enjoyment. 

“Well, I have a good teacher.” Theo shrugged, opening his locker. 

“I’ve literally never heard of you, you play professionally?” Matthias questioned. 

“No, but your team mate Liam, is like the best teacher I’ve ever come across.” Theo slammed his locker shut and the butterflies fluttered in Liam’s stomach from outside. “Never tell him I said that though.”

“Oh dude we would never.” Jordie snorted, glancing at his team mates conspiratorially, “You actually like him?”

“I live with him.” Theo said bluntly, his expression had turned cold real fast. 

“No way! Don’t you ever get worried he like, you know, watches you get undressed and stuff?” Colm leaned in, interested and Theo looked disgusted. “We all find it really awkward having to change in the same room and him, so, like, we couldn’t imagine living with him.”

“Why would he watch me undress?” Theo asked through gritted teeth, jaw clenched. 

“Well you know he’s gay right?” Matthias whispered the word, as if it was some sort of curse. “I’m totally not homophobic though, I just don’t want my privacy to be like, violated.” 

“I’m gay and I didn’t watch any of you get undressed. Not that if I did you’d have much to offer.” Theo replied coldly, eyes slightly dampened with, no way, were those tears? Theo Raeken had almost started crying defending Liam’s honour. Wow. 

“You’re gay? You don’t look gay.” Jordie backed away subtly. 

“And you look like you would have to posses some brains in that big ass head of yours, but I guess not.” Theo smiled sweetly. “Now get your homophobic asses home, think about how you literally act like twelve year old boys instead of the grown ass men you’re supposed to be, and don’t talk to either Liam or I again until you change your shitty attitude.” Theo pulled his shirt over his head, grabbed his bag, and walked out the door abruptly, head held high, leaving a stunned team behind. He caught sight of Liam, but continued walking, positively fuming, Liam scurrying behind. 

“T-“

“Don’t.” Theo glanced at him angrily. “I did what I had to do.”

“I was going to say thank you. That was really sweet.” Liam smiled warmly. 

“They’re jerks. It was no big deal.” Theo shrugged it off.

“But you stood up for me.” Liam whispered, and slipped his hand into Theo’s. “Thank you.”

“So how’d doing the far harder job go?” a flustered Theo attempted to change the subject. 

“I aced it.” Liam lied confidently. 

“I’m impressed.” Theo nodded. 

“Yeah I totally fucked it up.” Liam admitted, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Oh I know. I have three emails from a certain Nina Matthews complaining about you.” Theo smiled knowingly. “How’s being totally wrong feel?”

“I don’t know, you’re usually the one feeling that 24/7.” Liam sneered and Theo poked him with their intertwined hands. “Hey, lacrosse was still hard though?”

“I literally thrashed everyone.”

“Damn it.” Liam sighed. “You’re too good at everything asshole.”

“I learnt from the best.” Theo grinned. 

“That was cheesy.” Liam pointed out. 

“You’re blushing.”

“Am not.”

“So what do I win now that we’ve successfully proved that I am far more skilled than you at everything and kicked some homophobic asses for you?” Theo asked playfully.

“Coffee with me?” Liam offered slyly. 

“Bet I can order the better drink.”

“Oh you’re so on Raeken.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated :D  
> Plus if you can guess where I got my names from I love you, and Wesper are too cute. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.


End file.
